I walked around my neighborhood and went to this house that was a four-plex and it looked almost exactly like my apartment building except that it was a light green on the outside. I knocked on the door of apartment number 2, which was in the same place that my actual apartment is in, and when the guy opened the door, I explained that I was hoping to take a quick look at whichever apartment was for rent (as the sign on the front lawn indicated). He said he wasn't sure which apartment it was, but that I should ask the girl who lived next door. She came to the door almost immediately after I knocked and the three of us had a conversation about which apartment might be for rent since it wasn't either of theirs. Oddly, both of their downstairs apartments were one bedrooms, which, given the layout of the four-plex, seemed impossible in terms of space. I was looking for the two-bedroom apartment and since neither of them lived in a two-bedroom, I walked back to my apartment, but for some reason these two people came with me. I think they wanted to see what my apartment looked like since I'd told them that our buildings seemed to be identical.
On the way back to my apartment, I had a bird's eye view and there was an absolutely massive crowd that was surging in towards the middle of the city but I didn't know what the people were doing or where they were going.
Then, my apartment morphed into my house in New Jersey and my [clearly fictional] husband lived there with our [also clearly fictional] son, who was maybe about 5 years old. And I was pregnant. The three of us went for a walk and then all of a sudden I was at ARCO in a royal blue formal dress and had to wait on line to use the bathroom, except the line was really long and the people in front of me were people with whom I went to high school. They were all really excited for me that I was pregnant, though. For being with-child, I wasn't really big yet even though apparently I was really far along in my pregnancy, it just felt like my whole body was really taut, if that makes any sense. Anyway so it was finally my turn to use the bathroom and I took care of business and then walked out of the stall and one of the boys that I went to HS with was holding open the stall door, and I was wearing a long-sleeve t-shirt and jeans. I was really nervous that my water was going to break and when I went upstairs to the Police Department, I was walking around very carefully so as not to jar the baby out of my body. (Wtf?)
In the middle of the station, I ran into this guy who triggered a flashback type memory that I had of him for some reason. In this vision, the officer was having sex with this other guy who was dressed up in Native American clothing and then the second time they had sex, the Native American guy tricked the guy at the station and really hurt him, like that sin in the movie 7even. I came back to the present in the station and the officer walked by, kind of limping, and then I realized that he looked a little like one of my math teachers that I had in HS (but it wasn't actually him).
Lastly, my mom showed up and we went to go find seats in a movie theater or a playhouse (not sure) and as I was meeting her in the middle of our row, I began to get really emotional and started to cry and told her that I never, ever imagined that at 24 years of age, I'd be pregnant - it wasn't in the plan I had for myself.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Pregnancy and strangers and people from my past
Labels:
apartment,
challenges,
family,
high school,
people,
pregnancy,
sex
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